


In Your Arms

by Jynxar



Category: Narcos (TV)
Genre: Angst, Angsty Javi, Established Relationship, Implied/Referenced Injury, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Implied/Referenced Torture, Married Couple, Presumably during season 3, Reader-Insert, but it's implied, hopefully anyway, no explicit death/injury, rating for future chapters, soft Javi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-11
Updated: 2021-02-13
Packaged: 2021-03-15 11:06:54
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,152
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28687605
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jynxar/pseuds/Jynxar
Summary: Javi comes home from a particularly hard day at work.
Relationships: Javier Peña & Reader, Javier Peña/Reader, Javier Peña/You, javier - Relationship
Comments: 6
Kudos: 47





	1. Chapter 1

The smells and sounds of Colombia drift through the open kitchen window of your apartment as you cook. It’s a warm day, although not as warm as it can really get in the country, and almost every apartment on the block has their windows wide open to take advantage of the slight breeze drifting down the street.

You stand at the stove, humming along to the radio as you stir a pot of soup on the stove. As it bubbles the front door opens and closes quietly, and you feel yourself perk up at the thought of who must have just walked through the door. Footsteps move softly across the floor of the living room and a frown forms on your face at how quiet he’s being. Javi is usually calling out to you before he’s even through the door, and today he’s silent as a mouse.

Before you can fully begin to wonder what that might mean though the footsteps come down the hallway and your husband enters the room, and suddenly you realize why he’s being so quiet. His head is hanging and his shoulders droop, what little you can see of his face making it clear something  _ bad  _ happened at work that day.

“Baby? What-“ Your words are cut off by him stumbling forward the few steps that separate the two of you to almost crash into you. One hand comes up to grip your hip tightly as he presses his face into your neck, the other wrapping around your waist to pull you close to his chest. He just holds you like the for a moment, breathing deeply like he’s trying to calm himself.

After a full minute of silence you bring your hand up, stroking the back of his head soothingly, your heart breaking at the way he shudders at your touch. “Javi, baby, what happened? Talk to me.” You almost think he won’t respond with how long he hesitates, but when he does answer his voice sounds broken and filled with pain.

“We raided a building today…some low-level grunt working under one of the Cali godfathers. We…they’d been keeping girls, some of them prostitutes, but some of them were just…girls they snatched off the streets.” He paused, taking a deep breath and pressing his face further into your neck, his arms gripping you tighter against him. “They…the way they were kept…it was awful querida.”

It feels like your heart is caught in a vice as you listen to him recount the horrors he saw today, wishing for the millionth time since you met him that you could take away his pain. He usually kept work away, shedding the worries of his day as soon as he stepped over the threshold of the home you shared to keep them away from you, but there were days where his job followed him no matter how fast he ran.

It seemed they were still following him though as he opened his mouth to continue when you thought he had finished. “One of them…I carried her out and she…she looked so much like you querida. So scared and broken but all I could see was you. I can’t…get it out of my head.”

Suddenly the reason he seemed so broken was painfully clear, and you felt tears pricking your eyes at his words. Your arms cradled his head against your neck, rocking softly as you hushed him. “It’s ok baby, I’m right here, they didn’t have me. You keep me safe Javi, every day.” He shudders again and this time you feel his tears against your skin as he clings to you. You reach blindly to the side, flipping the knob to turn off the burner and prevent the soup from burning before you push gently against him. “The bedroom my love, you need to lay down.”

It takes a moment to get him moving, and he’s not willing to let you go completely which makes walking difficult, but you get him into the bedroom eventually. You extricate yourself from his arms just long enough to get him out of his shoes and jeans, leaving the rumpled button-up he wore to work that morning for later as he pulls you into his arms again. The two of you lay down, him curled around your body and your hand stroking his back as you whisper to him, telling him you’re here and he won’t be losing you.

He falls asleep in your arms, the lines that crease his face while waking smoothing out, managing to make his face look almost peaceful despite the dreams you know he’s sure to have after the day he had. You press a soft kiss to his forehead before closing your own eyes, drifting off to the soft sounds of him breathing, knowing this is far from the last time you’ll have to comfort him after he comes home from work.


	2. Chapter 2

It’s not long before the nightmares hit.

You knew they would, hard days at work always mean nightmares for Javi, when he can’t seem to escape the horrors he sees even in sleep. You wake to soft sounds of pain, his head still tucked under your chin where he fell asleep. Javi’s arms pull you closer as the nightmare seems to worsen, fingers clutching the back of your shirt like he’s afraid you’ll be torn from him at any moment. His hair is already damp with sweat and though you can’t see his face from where it’s pressed to your chest, you know from experience it’s twisted in pain.

Before the nightmare can get worse you place your hand on his shoulder, shaking gently. “Javi, wake up honey.” Your touch causes him to tense and the pained sound he makes is like a vice around your heart. A couple seconds pass and you shake harder. This time he jerks awake at the movement, shooting up to his feet beside the bed and scanning the room frantically, hands grasping for a gun in the back of his pants that isn’t there. You watch as the tension leaks out of his shoulders as he realizes where he is, and he collapses down to sit on the edge of the bed, his head falling into his hands.

You push yourself up onto your knees, biting your lip to keep back the tears that threaten to spill over at the sight of your husband so broken and afraid. When he doesn’t say anything you shuffle forward on your knees, your hands gently coming to rest on his shoulders. He tenses at your touch before letting out a forced breath he’d been holding and relaxing under your hands. You slide them forward to wrap your arms around his neck and press a soft kiss between his shoulders, trying your hardest to keep your voice even.

“It’s ok baby, I’m right here.” You let your forehead drop to rest on the back of his neck, willing him to let the day's events go. He’s silent for a while, and you don’t push him to speak. Pushing him right now will only result in him closing in on himself even more, and that’s the last thing he needs. The silence stretches on for a few minutes before he finally speaks, his whispered voice sounding even more broken than when he’d told you about the girls just a few hours before.

“It was...they had you. It was you I was carrying out of the building querida, and they’d...they’d hurt you so badly. I couldn’t help you, I couldn’t keep you safe, you were hurting and I couldn’t fix it and I-” He cuts off with a sharp intake of breath, sounding like he’s holding back tears himself as he continues. “How am I ever going to be able to keep you safe down here? I...sometimes I wonder if letting you tie yourself to me was a good idea.”

Javi’s hand grips one of your wrists, his eyes staring blankly out the window across from your bed as he admits his fears. He starts to shake at the admission, like admitting them makes it more real. You don’t take it to heart, you’d known from the beginning what his view of himself was. That for all his posturing and bravado, he didn’t see himself as worth anything at all. He’d asked you multiple times during your relationship if you were sure you wanted him, if you were sure you didn’t want someone less broken, with less baggage, less likely to put your life in danger just by loving you. You knew if the cartels managed to get a hold of you for leverage against him, and by proxy the DEA, it would absolutely break him. It haunted his dreams even on good days, the thought of his love for you putting you in danger, but you’d assured him through every milestone in your relationship that his love was worth the danger. It had even been a part of your vows when you married, that you would love him through the storms and face them together.

Taking a deep breath you slip out of bed, keeping your arms around his neck as you circle to stand in front of him. He lets his head hang down again as you nudge his legs apart to stand between them, avoiding your eyes and the love he knew he’d find there that he didn’t feel he deserved. You lift his head anyway, one hand under his chin, forcing him to meet your eyes anyway. His own dark eyes were full of pain you longed to wipe away and you lean down, pressing a soft kiss to his lips, letting it linger for a few moments. The desperation he felt at that moment bled through the kiss as he leaned into it, at war with himself over how much he craved your touch and how unworthy of it he felt. His own hands clutched at your hips, fingers curling in the fabric of your shorts.

You break the kiss, letting your forehead rest against his, cradling his face with your hands. “Javier Peña, I chose you. I knew what I was getting into, and I knew the man I was marrying. You are worth any danger that loving you puts me in, and I would never change any decision I made that got me here. You could ask me a million times, and my answer will always be yes. I will always choose you.”

Javi’s eyes filled with tears as you spoke, spilling over when he closes them in an attempt to compose himself. Reaching out to gently brush the tears from his cheeks, you purse your lips as you take in his state. It’s clear he’s emotionally exhausted, cried out and tired with the late hour. “Come on. Lay down with me, baby.” With a soft tug of his arm as you kneel back on the bed, Javier follows you to lay on his side, facing you once you’re both tucked in under the covers. 

“I wish you could see yourself the way I do,” you whisper quietly, tracing a hand across his exposed collarbone and down to his chest where you lay a hand above his heart, the soft fabric of his button-down beneath your palm. “A good man just trying to do the right thing.” With slow, deft fingers you manage to undo the buttons on the red shirt and slide it off his shoulders, Javi ridding himself of the material in a desperate attempt to have you as close as possible.

A broken exhale passes through Javi’s lips as you place your hand back on his bare chest, starting back at his heart and down to swipe a thumb across his nipple, a sensitive spot you’d discovered early on in your relationship. “You’re always so good to me, Javi. Let me take care of you tonight.”

“Please.” Javier’s voice is tired and rough but the clear distress has your heart breaking, more determined than ever to show him just how much you love him, how much you care.

You’re still dressed in a thin t-shirt and shorts, the Colombia heat unforgiving even in the dead of night, and you’re more than happy to tug off your top and revel in the slightly cooler air. Shuffling close enough so your bare chests are almost pressed together, you sigh softly against his neck where you bury your mouth against his pulse point, licking at the sensitive skin. 

“I love the way your body responds to me,” you whisper, trailing your nails lightly across his chest, down his sternum, and pausing at the band of his boxers. His chest arches into your touch, a shaky breath passing his lips, and you smile softly against his skin at how desperate he is for your touch.

Your mouth trails up his neck and along his jawline while your fingertips skim along the band of his boxers. The skin there had always been particularly sensitive and you feel him shudder beneath you, a soft whine escaping him. It’s hard to deny the silent plea and your hands tug at his boxers until they’re low enough where he can kick them off. Javier presses in closer to you, nudges his nose with yours, breathing the same air as your lips rest against each other. 

“Please don’t tease me, querida,” Javi breathes out, his face screwed up as he wills himself not to move. As desperate as he is for your touch, he trusts you to take care of him and slowly lets his body start to relax when you take his cock in your soft hand.

Javi is hard and heavy in your palm as you slowly start to work him, sliding the precum down his shaft and back up again to gain a rhythm. “You’re such a good boy for me, Javi. Letting me take care of you,” you remind him in a whisper, your hand sliding down to the bottom of his shaft to softly tug at his balls. You earn a loud groan at the praise and start to tug at his cock in earnest now as his hips rise up to meet your hand. 

“Your cock is so big Javi, so hard and thick in my hand,” you tell him, whispering against his ear. “Do you wanna cum like this? Or do you wanna be inside me?”

Javier’s breathing was loud, a silent fuck escaping his lips at the rough twist of your wrist around him and he took a breath to try and steady his beating heart before he answered. “Inside,” he nods quickly. “Wanna be inside you. Please.”

You’re quick to appease his request, letting him go to sit up enough to pull down your shorts and underwear and kick them to the side. Javi’s hands find grip on your thighs as you move to sit astride him, taking hold of his cock again once you sit up and slowly start to sink down his length. 

The first push is still a shock to your body and even more so in this position, despite years of being together. It feels good though, the slight burn and stretch of him splitting you open welcome. His cock is deeper when you’re on top and once you’re settled against his thighs, bottomed out, you slide a hand up his chest and take his chin in your fingers to bring his gaze to yours and slowly start to move your hips.

“You feel so good inside me, baby,” you whimper out, thumb catching across his bottom lip and tugging it down until the finger slides inside of his mouth and he starts to suck.

All Javier can manage to do is hum, his teeth sliding against your thumb and sucking it in deeper. You smirk and slide it out from between his lips, moving it down your body to catch against your clit as you continue to ride him. It’s a surprise, really, how he’s letting you do all the work. You almost expect him to start thrusting his hips up to meet yours but the fact that he’s actually letting you do this isn’t lost on you. It hits you then, how much he needs this, and you double your efforts, placing both hands on his chest to get better leverage. 

Your hips slide up until just the tip is still sheathed inside of you and you drop back down, moving your body in circles around him. The way Javi instantly tenses beneath, the grip on your thighs tighter, makes you grin and you know he’s close just by glancing up and catching his gaze. His eyes are glazed over, brow damp with sweat and he’s never looked more beautiful to you, letting you have full control. 

“Close,” he manages to grunt out, his head pushed back into the pillows. The veins in his neck stick out more than usual and you have to fight the urge to lean down and bite at them. This was about  _ him _ so you pick up your pace, squeezing your muscles and bringing your forefinger to your clit, rubbing quickly. 

It all happens quickly. Javier’s groan and the thrust of his hips against yours as he cums, the feeling setting off your own orgasm. You make sure you keep up some semblance of a pace while you both ride out your release. Collapsing onto his chest, you can feel Javi’s thighs twitching beneath you and it brings a satisfactory grin to your face, knowing you caused that.

You prop your chin on his chest and peer up at him, his eyes sliding down to catch your own and he rolls his eyes as he sees you. “Don’t look so smug,” he jests, bringing a hand down to slap against your ass. 

The two of you lay there for a moment, basking in the afterglow and letting your bodies settle. You watch his eyes drift closed and you lift a hand, brushing a damp curl off his forehead. He turns his head to press a soft kiss to the inside of your wrist, mumbling against your skin. “You always know what I need, mi amor. Better than I do, usually.” You smile, laying your head against his chest, sleep tugging at the edges of your mind again. 

“You should know by now I’m always right.” Javi lets out a snort, opting to wrap his arms around you to pull you tighter to his chest rather than reply.

It takes him longer than you to fall back asleep, apprehension still crouching on his shoulder, afraid he would fall back into the nightmare of your battered and bruised body. When he does fall asleep, the feeling of your body pressed tightly on top of his chases away the demons he tries so hard to escape.

**Author's Note:**

> So this is just a quick idea I had this morning and wanted to get written out. I plan to hopefully expand on it later with the help of a friend, but we'll see how that goes. I needed so soft Javi in my life.


End file.
